Satirical Pinoy 101 - da Commissioner, EDSA , Libingan, & one Lucky Bitch

Introduction:

 

I watch the news but I have always stayed away from politics.  I have always hated indulging in political discussion way back when I was young, when I could always hear opinions from customers of my Lolo’s barber shop where I usually hang out since I was given the task by my Tita to watch out for that cunning barber who cheats us of hard earned pesos and use it for his womanizing ways. Yes I know, I am not totally stupid [some parts are still missing], I know what happens when the shop closes.  Aside from the barber shop, the store next door is busy with tambays, Ginebra gin, water as chaser, and if it feels lucky, there’s pulutan to grab and eat periodically, but most of the time it’s politics.

 

Politics warms the blood during cold mornings.  I just have to turn on the TV early at dawn and watch how today’s political events are shaping up.  Things have never been this amusing since 1986.  Yes, I already existed in 1986, and the year before that, and Ninoy’s alleged assassination, and years before that.  Basically I have gathered information from the common tao’s perspective, which truly are amazing in their sense of grasping the situation and sometimes make it argumentative which is the most interesting part.  So I figured, I am making some comments in the world of free speech and democracy, satirically speaking.

 

and so it goes...

 

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Former COMELEC Chair Benjamin Abalos is so into news these days.  From the automated poll bid that went sour, the 2004 Hello Garci election event, Joey de Venecia statements, the famous “may 200 ka dito” from Secretary Neri, the Lozada revelations, and lastly I heard he was into burJer. I know, it’s burger and not burJer, I misspelled but I was merely reacting to pronunciations.  By the way I think the administration made a mistake in appointing him as Chairman of the COMELEC.  They should have appointed him as Commissioner instead.  Get it? Commissioner…

 

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On Monday they will be celebrating the People Power Anniversary.  I remember the radios before, Cardinal Sin said go to EDSA and protect Ramos and Enrile.  I got a text from a friend yesterday and it said, go to EDSA, there’s midnight sale.  People Power is a miscoined term.  It should have been Bloodless Revolution of EDSA.  It was not through the collective effort of people and nuns and priest and Ramos and Enrile in human chains that made it one of unusual stories of hope in our history.  It has always been the military’s decision on whom to support.  It happened in 86, it happened in 2001, and it will not happen again.  This time the situation has changed, the critics don’t have the military’s support.  Period.  No revolution has ever succeeded without the support of the military. 

 

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Early this morning I saw the program at the Libingan ng mga Bayani.  What event was that? Something about heroes, I forgot since I was busy getting coffee since it was cold.  I wonder how many heroes were buried there.  And are they all heroes?  Can the OFW’s be buried there?  After all, they are the new heroes.  Or is that only for the rich and famous?  Somebody suggested that it should be renamed Libingan ng mga Bayawak.  I wonder who they are planning to bury there in the future…

 

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The “Lucky Bitch” joke has already been immortalized around the globe.  I guess Neri’s evil comment was much nicer after all.  I’d love to see how it happened.  Anyways Gov. Joey Salceda has already apologized about the comment intended as a joke but unfortunately, it was interpreted out of context. Malacañang just brushed it aside.  Gov. Salceda is the one lucky this time…

 

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Ink’s over.  Maybe next time I’ll be able to make more comments. Maybe.