Never

Today I woke up only to realize that I can never be somebody that I wanted to be. Everyday I live in a world of fantasy and dream, I dream of this, I dream of that, I dream of this particular person. I was always imagining things… that I am like this, I can do this, I can be with this person, etc. etc. etc. Ooops… I’m sounding like Yul Brynner from The King and I, living to my dream I suppose…

Today I woke up and I realized I can never be like Francisco Mañosa. Ah… To build, to build, a noble profession indeed… as the quote says. I dreamed of becoming an architect someday, to build my own house, to design my own yard, to create my own setting. I thought this was way better than becoming an Engineer, which my father couldn’t and wouldn’t understand. It’s not that I loath Engineering, but I guess I just don’t want to be told of things that I would do. It’s my dream, not theirs. I got my own dream to chase, and in a wink of an eye, I just realized that it already flew away.

Today I woke up and I realized that I can never be a rock star, belting out songs like the way Axel Rose, Jon Bon Jovi, or Sebastian Bach sings until their lungs wear out, composing songs the way Jim Steinman does. I could carry some tunes but I can’t sing like them. I guess I better practice whistling from now on.
Today I woke up and I realized I can never be a Hollywood celebrity. Hahaha nangarap ka Duni! If Brad Pitt’s handsome face could launch a thousand ships, mine could sink twice that number… Need I say more? I guess not.

Today I woke up and I realized that I have to wake up and forget about those stupid imaginations that are always floating around this air-filled head of mine. I have to start doing my best in pursuing those other realistic dreams which lingers on my mind but I didn’t give attention before. Those other dreams that are achievable, perhaps, can help me become a better person from now on. I guess I just have to wake up on the right side of the bed starting tomorrow.

And Oh, one last thing…

Today I woke up and I realized that I can never have you…

Kauna-unahan

Hindi naman talaga ako marunong mag blog eh… but what the heck. The last thing I know it doesn’t require an MA degree. What’s important is that I myself did it. Never mind if my grammar might not be perfect, will not be perfect, or will never be perfect. It was never about anybody else in the first place. It is everything about me. It is everything about what I feel. It is everything about what I want to say…

Ngayon bat ako andito?

I really don’t know. Might it be that I am suffering from a compulsion of “shouting out my thoughts”, figuratively speaking, or might have I caught already this itch of posting out views, whether mine or plagiarized, or from the internet itself… that I could not answer. I just wanted a good follow up from my first post… it will just be a waste I think if I’ll post some comments or articles that I feel was good enough, and yet I couldn’t even post my own personal thoughts… there goes my philosophic reasoning I guess.

Duni, ano nakain mo?

Ewan ko nga ba. I was just experimenting things. I got this printed out email from an acquaintance, a friend of my former boss. It contains a business proposal for an IT services to be established in the US, as they say. But I’m not really jumping into the bandwagon, yup I know this is an opportunity that everyone else would like to get, but really the truth is I am still confused. Oh well, maybe I didn’t read the letter thoroughly. I guess I’ll have to spend more time analyzing it later on the bed before I go to sleep. The truth is, i think, I don’t really know how will I reply and what will I reply to that email… it is already three [3] days since.

Ganito ba talaga ako, may mood swings?

Instead of composing a very enthusiastic, formal reply or an inquiry on the proposal, all I did was fix my (Multiply) profile and browsed at Badong’s page. And then while switching from Multiply and Yahoo sites while listening to New Wave classics on my Winamp, I discovered that Michael Schumacher might be retiring from Formula1. I guess posting an article about him would be the greatest tribute I could do to the man I watched, idolized and followed every Formula 1 race shown and i could watch on TV. I admired him winning 7 world championship titles, 5 with the “Prancing Horse”. And I admired him more when he donated 10 million US dollars to the tsunami victims, the biggest donation (unconfirmed) so far from a single benefactor. And they say he is ruthless and arrogant on the racetrack.

Anong kinalaman ni Schumi sa post ko? Wala, ewan, malay. I just wanted to post something, and I picked up this Schumi article and initially re-posted it, and it started everything. Officially this would be my 2nd post, and my 1st originally composed. I hope it won’t stop from here. Wait, this has been long already. I was just clearing up my mind because I couldn’t create even just a simple reply to the email proposal and this is where it got me, almost a full page of non sense and almost 4 hours of wasted time. Oh well I think I’m going to sleep now and I hope when I wake tomorrow morning everything would be clear, just like those times when I came home drunk and fell fast asleep. So much for my initiation into the blogger’s world…